For Working Moms Who Want to Write

This is what happens when you’re raising kids and working full time and decide you want to become a writer. You find little moments wherever you can. Sure, more people say they want to write a book then actually get down and dirty and write one, but if you’re serious, and you want it bad enough, then you will find the time. Like excavating a precious artifact, finding time in your busy day can be near impossible. I feel you. I do. I don’t have any answers. All I can do is share what I’ve done. Where I’ve made space. And maybe that will give you some tools to figure out how to do that for yourself. 

I know what it’s like to have everybody in the house depend on you. And you can be that person, but if you really want to write, then you need to be a little selfish. For a while, I would wake up before everyone else and write in the early morning hours. In that brief period of time, even if it’s just 15 minutes, you can play with a few ideas, jot down some character sketches, maybe draft a poem. If you’ve got young children, you can also find this kind of time during naps. Not yours. You wish! But the kid’s naps. Again, even just a few minutes is something. Keep a little notebook handy and fill it with ideas, maybe even a sentence here and there from a story or phrases from a poem. Skies the limit. Just start writing. I know you’ll be tempted to do other things during that time, wash the dishes, do the laundry, take out the trash…DON’T! At least not all the time. Instead, carve out a few kiddo-naps for your writing, maybe start with just one a week.

I would walk the dog, push the stroller, even drive around neighborhoods hoping the movement of the car will help my kids fall asleep, and during that time I would work on whatever story was in my head. I’d play with characters and think about settings; I let my mind go wild. 

Now, if you’re a mom and you’re working a full time job outside the home too, then I know all this sounds tough. It is. I’ve been there, but you can find those small moments. Fifteen minutes at lunch or at the end of your day in the lunchroom, or just sitting in your car. Or, if you can take a break and go for a walk, that’s a great time to not just clear your head, but think about a story. I’m also a big fan of writing podcasts which you can listen to on your drive to work or during your lunch break. I promise you, this help. 

As your kiddos get older, little moments will present themselves. Sitting in the car waiting for them to come out of school—that’s 15 to 30 minutes right there. Kid does ballet, baseball, karate, take advantage of that time and write. 

You will not be reprimanded for sitting out a karate lesson, or two a week.

You are not a bad parent.

You will not go to hell. 

You need time, too. Take it. Don’t be shy, or afraid, just use that time to your fullest advantage. You would be surprised what you can write in short spurts. It adds up. If you do 500 words just twice a week, that’s over 45,000 words a year. That’s half a book or a whole novella! Like I said, it adds up. 

If you’re worried about where to write, don’t. 

You don’t need a muse, your own writing studio complete with noise machine and lit candles. You can’t afford to be precious about your writing space, so get that out of your head. You need to learn to adapt. Write in small increments, even if the conditions aren’t optimal. Train yourself to write in places you wouldn’t ever expect- the doctor’s office waiting room, inside the karate dojo, laundry mat, or on the field at soccer practice. Because I promise you, if you try and wait for the perfect conditions as a busy parent and someone with a full time job, it might never come. 

Some of you are perhaps saying I’m not a good mom. I’m not paying close attention to my family. One word- horseshit! 

My kids see me working, they see me being a mom, they see me writing and reading book after book, they hear me telling stories and talking about writing. They see me applying to low-residency MFA programs in my late forties and doing my homework and trying my best. They see me reaching for the moon. And guess what, they have become voracious readers, and they are articulate and bright and write poetry, and short stories and dream of publishing books and going to graduate school. And friends, there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I know what I’m proposing sounds hard. It might even sound impossible and scary. No lie, it is. But if you love this….if you love to write, you will find the time. You just need to get a little creative. And as for permission, you don’t need anyone’s permission except your own. 

So, now I ask you, how does your story begin?